Getting to the top at any cost can be soul-crushing when you feel that you are sacrificing personal and family time for work, sacrificing relationships to get that promotion, and so on. It can lead to a breakdown, burnout and adversely affect your performance.
Let us get our ducks in a row, as we are in an animal kingdom, and get our meanings straight—what is a top dog? Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as follows-top dog (noun): a person, group, or thing in a position of authority, especially through victory in a hard-fought competition.
It is an idiom that crops up in conversations about achievement, targets, and results. We are used to, or perhaps are taught, to use it positively—it is top, so it must be good. However, I have my doubts. While competition is not necessarily detrimental to business, wanting to become a top dog at any cost might be. How? I’ll get to that in the second part of the article. Right now, I want to highlight why we so often think we need to become top dogs in the first place.
Conditioning
Getting to the top has a lot of perceived value. It is seen as being the first, the biggest, and the most accomplished. It is often understood as a state where success lives, where the good life happens. No wonder parents and societies are pushing their children to get to that point where everyone else sees you as happy. They insist on it, so you follow.
This way of thinking creates hierarchy of dominance. It is a type of social arrangement in which members of a group create a ranking system. It is easy to see when a group competes for limited resources. This classification system may create an impression of order when each member is allowed a piece of a prize. The downside: it is based on the ideas of ‘lack’ and ‘scarcity’. The emotion connected to it most often is fear, expressed by questions like ‘What if there won’t be enough next time?’, ‘What if I am not enough?’ And that fear motivates individuals to seek value externally, always chasing what others are bringing. That mindset puts us in the space of fighting for the top position at all costs. The paradox is: this top dog syndrome takes away from what we have to offer.
It is one of the most basic systems. We see hierarchies in societies all around. I suppose this tendency is in-built in humans because, at some point in time, our survival depended on it. Today, however, survival is not enough. We are capable of so much more. And the beautiful thing is that the resources are not scarce—not in the thought leadership context, anyway. When you are building your value up, you are not taking it away from anyone.
It is a different way of thinking and requires courage, and persistence, to break away from the standard we were educated into. It does take time to build up, but you can observe results quite early.
The spotlight
Another reason is the focus on the individual and achievement in a new context, outside of a corporate structure. This is a relatively new phenomenon in many cultures. Even in the US, where the idea of ‘self-made man’ is a strong part of the society, you may argue that a concept of a solo career in such a form is less than 100 years old. It does require a behavioural change—those individuals often break the ties of tradition, rebel a little, and go against the grid. Perhaps they want to try something new, do not want to continue in their father’s footsteps, so create a new career for themselves. It requires more work, gives them more visibility, focuses the spotlight on a person, and reinforces their top dog perception. Sometimes this view is a self-proclaimed one; when browsing LinkedIn, how many ‘gurus’ and ‘leaders’ can you spot in the person’s description of themselves?
With this visibility comes our fascination with rankings. To be the number one, to get to the front, to—again—be the top dog. Even in the publishing industry, succumbed to the temptation of a race, and I see this constant push toward producing a best seller. So it is with people— pushing to obtain this sought-after title, the emblem of status. But this image is skewed. I prefer the concept of a long tail, popularised by Chris Anderson.
Let us step away from the canine world for a moment and pretend you are a publisher, and you have your number one book. You may even have a few good sellers. But most books sell too few copies to achieve that status. However, when you add up the rest—the long tail—together, they sell more copies than the bestsellers hogging the spotlight. And they are making an impact.
The long tail concept illustrates the idea of value beautifully. Perhaps this is the biggest danger of getting to the top at all costs—it deflects your attention from your worth, and it messes with your intentions.
The top or bust
There are two downsides to this approach. First, losing is discouraging. It can be soul-crushing when you feel that you are pouring all the hours of the day, sacrificing relationships into getting that promotion or getting that client, who then chooses another in your place. It can lead to a breakdown, burnout. It affects your performance. And makes the recovery harder every time, however resilient you may believe yourself to be. In my book The Thoughtful Leader, I use the image of a dog that has been kicked one too many times. A moment comes when it flinches in anticipation of a blow, and will not want to get close again.
The second is that you are continually focusing on the ones who are biting at your heels. You look behind to see who is closing the gap. It often takes a form of browsing the industry news and feeling overwhelmed, even jealous of others’ achievements. You feel as if they are winning your contracts, getting your awards and recognition. And then you search some more and read about their new programs, new products. The gap in your mind widens. Suddenly you no longer see yourself as the one who is chased but who has to chase again. Perhaps there is another way.
The thoughtful shift
The remedy to discouragement is an image of a golden retriever, who is ready to shake itself off and try again. It requires a change of mindset, a new way of thinking, and a change of intention. You are doing your best and, to use another idiom—if at first you do not succeed, you try and try again—because there is no ‘all or nothing,’ there is a process. With each attempt, you are learning something new, building something of value. You become more thoughtful and discover ideas that build you up. You no longer yearn to be the top dog because your perspective has shifted towards that valuable, thoughtful concept. That idea that can change your organisation, even society.
It widens your perspective. You arrive at a place where there no longer can be only one person at the top—there is room for many top concepts and thought leaders.
You discover that each moment spent on looking behind your shoulder, fretting about the status of your personal profile, was taking you away from your creativity. Fear of competition is a known creativity-killer. Here is the twist: thought leadership is not about the individual, and their ego, and their profile. At least, not only about these. It is about their big idea. It is about leadership rather than the leader. That is what I get excited about. And the person gets to build their profile as a fringe benefit.
I wrote in The Thoughtful Leader, “You are either the centre of your life or you are moving restlessly around the edges.” With this approach, you not only are creating your own path, but you are also making it easier for yourself to go the extra mile, and as Zig Ziglar said, “There are no traffic jams there. You are in a category of your own.
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