Management Perspectives

Listening is such an integral part of ourselves and our repertoire for interacting with other people and the world. We can use up to 20,000 words a day without realising it. And we spend over 70 per cent of our day in communicating, with listening taking up 50 per cent of that time. However, we rarely listen well and with intention.

And yet it is such an important and complex skill and talent that affects our health, well-being, that of others and the world. Let’s explore the levels and types of listening and how they affect workplace health and well-being.

Listening well happens…

…when we are open to what is being communicated, whether it is a person, a group, or the future. Paying attention with empathy, and having an open mind and heart help. As does sensitivity towards others’ opinions while working to ensure that our biases and mind frames do not interfere with what is being communicated. We must almost take ‘ourselves’ out of the picture and understand, using all our senses. Paying attention to what is being said, how it is said, and the tone and voice being used are also key. We also need to listen to the non-verbal cues, which we don’t always notice.

And while you are listening, it is important to suspend judgement and not create your response until the other person is done communicating. Understand and appreciate how the diversity of your thought process can affect how you listen.

The benefits of listening well

Listening well aids mental health and well-being, both at the level of person-to-person interactions and at the organisational level. It is an incredible asset and skill. It helps people get to know and trust each other and use their cognitive and work skills to the fullest. Emotional intelligence is enhanced. People then understand problems better and are likely to collaborate to get solutions. Decision-making gets easier. Colleagues are more willing to be patient and are more motivated. All this is likely to improve workplace safety.

There are three ways to listen…

…in terms of how we use our energy, what we notice, and how we interact. (Patsy Rodenburg and Otto Scharmer).

The first approach is when you focus inwards and on yourself. All you sense in others and the world is barely noted. This can be helpful, for e.g., if you need to stop and reflect, but if you remain in this state, you may ignore what is going on in the interaction. If you use this state a lot, you are likely to feel outside interactions and be self-conscious. You lessen your impact on the world.

You may just focus on confirming what you already know. It is also possible that you may not pay attention to the discussion, thinking you have heard it many times before. So, you just repeat what you said before. This is downloading. This benefits no-one’s well-being other than yours, perhaps.

The second way is called ‘bluff and force’.

Here, all your energy is outward facing, focussing on your own message, and your way; you do not take notice of anyone else. You are unlikely to notice what is subtle and present. You are loud, eloquent, but you do not listen. People become objects for you to notice, perhaps. It is probable that your biases for listening are unchecked.

People will know that you are unlikely to listen and that you could dominate discussions. You are likely to command, lecture, blame, shame, hijack discussions, and offer unsolicited advice. This approach of talking ‘at’ rather than ‘with’ is only ever useful in an emergency, especially at the beginning, when commands need to be given. Otherwise, it is not at all helpful. Here, only the speaker’s well-being is boosted. No-one else’s.

The most effective approach is connecting. In it, you focus your energy on the other person, and are being willing and open to what is being said or shown without judgment. You share your energy with the other person sensitively, react and communicate freely, influence each other, and do not interrupt. This state allows you to pay attention to all the cues (verbal and non-verbal).

To achieve this state, you must be fully present in the moment. You listen with empathy, and you notice the nuances effortlessly.

If you shift into the most connected state of listening, generative listening, then you are not only interacting with and paying attention to what and who is in front of you, but you are also open to the incoming future. This is quite a rare state, but it is achievable if you can suspend judgment. And be prepared to ignore your inner critics and biases.

Obviously, being in this state when interacting and listening is the most beneficial because people feel included, respected, and treated decently. They are more likely to take part and properly use their work skills for the benefit of the organisation.

If a leader or an organisation permits the use of this state, then there will be greater creativity and effectiveness.

There will be cultural differences in how people use these three approaches. It will vary from country to country. Learning about and understanding this can only enhance your listening skills and overall well-being.

Listening well to support health and wellbeing in the workplace

We only listen well if we are feeling fine and healthy. So it is important to ensure that we have good self-care, work positively, and are mindful of our physical health and mental health. If we are centred, then we will be more willing to help others and support their health and wellbeing. Breathing well and deeply all the time also helps with self-care and synchronising with other people. When we are not centred or feeling okay, we can be detrimental to the health and well being of others.

If we take the time to stop and pay attention to what someone is saying and how they are, then we will aid their well-being, regardless of whether the person is a colleague, leader, or someone you manage. People notice how you behave with them and whether you are sincere. Taking a few moments to speak to someone can make the biggest difference.

Acknowledging and exploring our biases towards difference and ‘people not like us’ is an important contributor to listening well. This exploration should be lifelong.

Listening generatively to the incoming future takes courage and permission to let go of all you know. And just wait. Practice becoming OK with not having an immediate answer or expecting one from a collaborator. Listen from higher principles, not past examples. The greatest ideas come from such moments.

People need to feel safe and looked after by the organisation for them to listen well. All this needs to be part of the organisational culture, including respecting diversity. Leaders need to be supportive of this and show it in their behaviours. One simple act of listening kindly will go a long way to enhance your reputation and how others perceive you. And it improves everyone’s health and well-being too.