Management Perspectives

Workplace conflict costs global corporations hundreds of billions of dollars annually, and most of it is avoidable. What could your organisation do with the profits retained because team members are nimble, willing to embrace conflict as it arises, and leverage the opportunities to turn healthy debates into innovation and agreements?

MYTH 1: EDUCATED EMPLOYEES COME EQUIPPED WITH CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS.

It is a known fact that people are hired for their technical skilled but fired or stuck in dead-end positions because of their lack of ability to get along with people. The skills required to resolve conflict in the workplace and life are not necessarily taught in our educational systems. Possibly, employees who hail from tight-knit families with strong values or faith may have some tools to deal with conflict, but the hard truth is that most people do not possess the skills required to be assertive, have courage to speak up respectfully, or have the confidence to enter into a difficult conversation and work through it to achieve new agreements and commitments for resolution. Conflict resolution education and the experience of implementing it will provide the skills, courage, and confidence for resilience with relationships.

MYTH 2: TIME HEALS DISCONNECTED EMPLOYEE RELATIONSHIPS.

Most people fear conflict, and prefer to avoid it at all costs. Disgruntled employees of all ranks tend to revert to childlike behaviour when conflict surfaces and either pick up their toys and go home (quit or quiet-quitting), or move into their own corner and not face their foe (shut down, or gossip to others about the person they are in conflict with). Many managers assume that over time, the dust will settle and employees will reconnect, trust each other, and collaborate effectively. Nothing could be further from the truth. Conflict left unresolved festers and can turn an entire workplace into a toxic culture. The best time to work towards reconnecting a fractured relationship or solving a workplace conflict is immediately. Once those involved feel in control of their emotions and are willing to talk it through, it is time! No one goes into conflict feeling warm and fuzzy. The prize of peace is on the other side of the discomfort, so the only thing worse than putting off conversations to resolve conflict for one year, or one month, or one week, is one more day. Time will not heal broken relationships, but authentic and respectful conversation will. Do not let conflict fester.

MYTH 3: IT IS THE ROLE OF MANAGERS TO RESOLVE TEAM CONFLICT.

According to an article in Times of India, managers can spend 40 per cent of their time managing workplace conflict. Will it not be nice if everyone could approach the person or people that they are in conflict with, have a productive discussion, and come away understanding each other and feeling better about the way forward? Most workplace conflict resolution policies suggest that an employee should go directly to someone that they are in conflict with to attempt to work it out; however, the reality is that they do not know how, so they come to the manager hoping that the manager will solve their problems for them, but the manager cannot do their speaking or listening, so the whole attempt to advocate ends up being a ‘he said – she said’ conundrum, that consumes far too much of the managers valuable time. The best way to teach employees how to solve their conflicts is to bring them both together and facilitate a respectful conversation. That way they will connect, and learn how to approach each other next time on their own.

MYTH 4: DIGITAL COMMUNICATION IS AN EFFECTIVE WAY TO DISCUSS ISSUES.

Emailing, texting, or digital messaging of any type does not get sent with any emotion, facial expression, or tangible human energy. Additionally, the receiver reads it through his/her own lens, which could be clouded with assumption, insecurities, or negativity. If you are thinking for a second that an email or text will not land softly, or if you have intention to fight, do not hit send! You will be making a permanent impression of a temporary emotion, or you will be risking a relationship hardship. Get face[1]to-face, on a video call or phone call to discuss challenging or sensitive issues. If you are a skilled communicator, you will know that this conversational approach gives you the opportunity to actively listen and understand the other person, demonstrate empathy, and problem solve together which will build better trust and loyalty.

MYTH 5: RELATIONSHIPS ARE SECONDARY TO PROFIT AND PRODUCTION.

Over the decades of my career, I have witnessed that when two people want to do business together the details do not stand in the way. Relationships are the key to success in business and this rings true for everything from employee commitment and retention, to sales, promotions and even politics. The more time invested in relationship building (especially with remote employees) the more production you will inspire, and the more profit you will earn. Emphasise that relationships come first and make a concerted effort to help people understand their value regularly.

Without confidence or practice, the multifaceted conflicts surfacing in the current landscape of managing people is cumbersome. Many issues including what to say or not say, dealing with employee resistance, resolving intergenerational or interpersonal conflict, and preventing turnover are delicate responsibilities that could benefit with intervention. An external provider can help mitigate conflict with facilitated conversation, coaching, or alternative dispute resolution.

According to an article by Jack Kelly in Forbes, people don’t typically quit jobs—they quit managers. The average cost of losing an employee to turnover is 33 per cent of their salary. That is a lot of potential for increased productivity being forfeited. Good leaders are worth investing in and keeping. Being a good employee is also worth striving for because everyone is better off when relationships are maintained, but let us face it, conflict is inevitable.

Helping remote and on-site teams resolve conflict for the last couple of decades, I have learned that there is only one way through conflict, and that is ‘through’ it, and that is why I have written Sandbox Strategies for the New Workplace: Conflict Resolution from the Inside Out and created the Sandbox System™—to help workplaces turn the prohibitive problem of workplace conflict into peace, professional growth, and productive lessons.